Tuesday, July 22, 2014

My Idea of Discipline

Exercise has always been a part of my life. From playing as a kid with others in a pick up game of soccer, to group sports, then into marching band. In college, I always took a dance or exercise class as an elective. When I got out of college I remained active with weights, walking, & aerobics.  Then I found yoga. I admire the Ashtangis that are so disciplined in there 2 hour a day practice. I have yearned to have the discipline for that practice.

So in my own yoga practice it has been an organic experience.

I have gone with the flow of my body and practiced as I felt was needed. Some days my body was about staying put, slower than molasses, in deep meditation, very restorative.  Other days, movement was needed to increase my breath & heart rate. And still other days, I was resistance to the practice all together.

That being said, my idea of flow is flow, following inspiration, not rigid. My idea of discipline is rigid and staying the course ‘even when you don’t feel like it.’

So I have never synced up well with the practice of extended disciplined practices. This applies to my yoga/exercise practice, my food intake, my meditation practice, my journaling, my business building schedule, etc.

I have great will power to break the initial habit/pattern, or to start the new practice. As I only begin something like this if I have been inspired to do so.

Sometimes my will power lasts about 2 weeks, other times it may last 4-5 months. Where my confrontation to discipline happens is when my body feels tired and wants to rest instead of doing 10 sun salutations. Or when I haven’t played enough so in an attempt at lightheartedness, reach for a sweet delicacy. Or I feel overwhelmed and need to go to the movies or the park instead of writing the weekly article.

In my attempt to listen to the whisperings of my inner being, I am steered off course maybe just that day or maybe for a while and will take another lump o’ will power to refocus.

This dance with discipline I have been aware of and have been observing it in my life the last few years. The clarity that is coming through right now is a redefining of my idea of discipline. As, it is of utmost importance to me to live my life with the closest inward ear to my heart and soul. My newer definition of discipline is shifting from one of rigidity & routine to the regularity being the act of listening just a little deeper than what is pulling me on the surface.

So the discipline I crave is actually a deeper level of listening on a more subtle plane; shifting from a denser, more physical level of time and space, i.e. – meditate every day for 30 minutes, do 1 hour of yoga every day, etc. to an act of listening in every moment to what will serve me best; what is for my highest good.

And then the kicker that brings it home for me is getting totally ok with the path my Being leads me on. Letting go of my expectations of how my path should look, how I should look, or what I should be doing and being.

So I encourage this listening for all others, to do what your heart leads you to do even when it doesn't make logical sense or even when no one else understands.

We're all figuring it out together. Thanks for being a part of it!

In Love -

1 comment:

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